when the stars turn blue

i understand his need to fall off the face of the planet
for alittle while

but i didn't think it would be this hard
--for me.

i miss him in those gaps between phonecalls
because this is the first time there have been gaps.

it's almost like dr.jelk and mr.hyde
only the demons are figurative -- cognitive.

i guess part of me is really worried about him.
and part of me wants to know this side of him,
the person that comes out and takes him of the face of the planet.
(and away from me)

...does that make me selfish?