i'm hold no great convicition to any one religion yet, as i find such beliefs to be ones procesed through living and learning.
i find that i envy those who have
such passionate conviction
in one faith, but i feel to be fair to myself, i have many avenues to explore,
many thoughts to recover and beliefs to process.
the stronger ones conviction in ones self
the more one will believe in whatever he chooses.
atleast that is how i have always loooked at it.
what better place to start than yourself, and
my decision has been to start this tight rope walk of faith
by figuring outmyself first
before i devote myself to a black and white picture, if that is what i find
i have my beliefs and i have my doubts.
this is all irrelevant.
lets back up...
i was reading on taoism, expanding my horizons, and i found this concept to make alot of sense:
maybe people are afraid of emptiness
however,
because it reminds them
of lonliness.
it seemed to fit with my present feelings
the surge of abandonment one falls prey too when
everyone around them disapears.
parts ways.
walks away.
in a fight with inner numbness, longing
it is so easy to feel empty, hollow
and just across the fine line is loneliness.
this reading embarked on a method
that enabled one to feed on the emptiness
"find the fullness of nothing"
an interesting and self absorbing concept.
but nonethe less it is one more road map
to lead you closer to yourself
and i am willing to give it a second look.
atleast re-read the words, take them in.
no harm in that.
i'm still processing this reading
and taking what i can from it
but i found that concept profound, and almost comforting.
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