the only truth that sticks

the people that i thought i knew,
i really thought i trusted...

changed.

i shouldn't say "the people"
it's just one person.

when you look at this person, one of your best friends, and you ask
"who are you?!?!"

what do you do?
where do you go?

people take for granted that you will always be there.
because i am somewhat laid back...
doesn't mean things don't bother me.

did she ever think that maybe i was alittle mad?
alittle mad not even nessicarily that she did it,
mad because she didn't feel guilty,
didnt deem it important enough, relevant enough, to tell me!!?

it's drama,
i hate it.

but there is a point.
another fine line,
the line between above it and numb to it.
gettting walked on, brushed aside, steped over.

there are certin things that deserve a reaction,
that should and will make you angry.

who says you should not necessairly embrace that anger?
it's a human emotion just like anyother
and it is one that should be confronted, not bottled.

i'm great at bottling.
not causing waves.

but you can only turn your back so many times.
things should, will, need to bother you.

and it does. but what can i do?
it doesn't bother her.

i hate this,
tension.
i hate tension, useless, selfish tension.

i want it to matter.
matter to her that i hurt, that this time it was all her fault.

if there is anger and tension.
it should be usefull, productive.
you should both learn something.

right.
it should matter

and it doesn't.
it's funny, how you think you know people.

and more often than not
the people that you
think you really know
are the most complete
strangers.

why?
isn't that backwards?

or is it par for the course?