a distance

i think that silence after sound is louder than no sound at all. 

brave enough to offer

take me there

deep under your bones

 (i want to be)

where the demand for human consistency 

is neutral 

where everyones skin

feels the same. 

like it's right

"One thing we do know: life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience? Because this is the experience you are having at this moment." 

- eckhart tolle 

like it's simple

a growing absence 

trapped, revolving dissatisfaction.

disillusion. 

magic lacking illusion. 

the perceived devoid of presence. 

or was it? i was there. i am her. 

the girl in the box, 

enough in parts. 

flawed as the whole. 

splintered in grey, 

outside the lines.

i am there. i was her.

fragments 

in the box, whole and splintered together.

i am this;

the show, the secret. 

  

 

tenth frame

can we be emotionally selfish? of course. but can we justify such selfishness? can we be so burdened by our unchanging, unfeeling, circumstances that we allow ourselves to take, with our minds and our impulses, what is not ours? 

and how is it possible to selectively adhere to certain emotions without the baggage of the resulting circumstances? 

its another compartment, sure, but compartments to neutralize moral objection? can we be so diluted by our own emotionally numbing minds that we forego the basic rules of engagement? what are the rules of attraction for the emotionally observant? 

i saw it coming. i knew what would happen. and i let it. does that make me a bad person? is it wrong to fully comprehend what one wants, one needs, what will happen, and then ignore the limitations set on a situation?

or was it already mine because of that inherent understanding? 

can you be morally objective in a cliche situation? can i justify my actions with my ability to see through people. 

so really can i justify my actions with his feelings? 

better yet, why don't i feel like i have to justify my actions to myself? don't i feel anything but more compartments separating and stacking? how can i feel so good about the good and lack feeling so bad about the bad and keep a focused eye on the big picture? 

that can't be normal. that won't allow another person room enough to get in. 

not a whole person.  

but how can i be content with taking fragments of people? how many pieces of a person do you need before you make them whole within yourself?

in 9 frames hideous; in the 10th beautiful.