crawl right through me

how is it that a person miles and hours away can feel closer
than they did when they were right next to you?

and how can you still be within their grasp
even though you can't see them for miles?

small sentances, expertly placed words,
have more of a significant impact than i would have thought.
- as has been proved by my last two entries -

or maybe i knew it and closed my ears to it before,
because i didn't want to hear it.
now for some reason, they are the only things i hear.

-perception? interesting.

simple words bring things back - blocked memories.
bring things down - walls.

and send you back ten spaces on the game board.
do not pass go.
do not collect two hundred dollars.
draw four.
sorry!

"lady luck."
that bitch.

is it a . . . weakness?
wishfull thinking? am i actually hearing things? just talking to myself?

or is it just a longing for familiarity?


it may be all of the above.
but it would be even worse to ignore the fact that it was there, correct?
even if it hurts?
repeatedly.

priorites and trust.

grey areas and strings.

does this ever get easier?
would you want it to even if it did?