How Ritual Seals Love

when i said i would not "fall" for you...

i lied.

let me ask you this:
don't i deserve to, for once, know where i stand in a relationship?
is that to much to ask...from you?

i understand that you have baggage ( some of which goes with mine...some i can't even begin to relate too) but is it possible that we could work through that?

you like me-i know this
i'm "different than other girls" - you think so (and i hope you're right)

you need things "concrete" - you've made that clear
but how can things be concrete when
a) niether on of us "wants" a relationship
b) are not over our past relationships

c) you have walls higher than the great wall of china built up

"i lied...i fell, what do i do now?"
"you can't save this one kac, not this time"
"why do i have to want to save him, what about saving me?"
"he's not the kind of guy you fall for, you know that"
"just because i know it doesn't mean i have to like it."

...i can hear it now.

why does that have to be important?
why can't you have an intellectual and emotional relationship...with sparse physicality?
i could - i want to - show him that someone could care for him regardless
he's shut people out...thats obvious...and understandable
i want him to know that people can look past that
it wouldn't have to define anything...just because the past has to follow you in this case
does not mean it has to controll you...and dictate the people around you.

it looks different in type.
it always does
there is something concrete about words
harshly defining emotion
situations, solutions.
...lack there of

it's just no fair.
it never is.

what can i do?

just answer the phone everynight
and hang on tight.

he'll keep me at bay through the phone lines.
how poetic