8.29.2009

it for you


 How are saying the right things, and knowing what's going to be said, influenced by how accurately a person sees us for who we are? or how we want to be seen? And how does this picture of accuracy influence our emotions?

Does this overview allow us to trust our circumstances more? or to trust ourselves with the potential of our emotions less? 

In particular, how does this situation enable someone to heal themselves from whatever past hurt they have erected as a boundary?  is it even possible to help someone overcome what they have already told themselves is the problem? 

When someone processes things the same way you do, with the same amount of self awareness, is there anything else to do but understand and maintain this acute awareness? 

i think it's rare. i was able to understand another persons needs to push me away and pull me closer at the same time, what's more i was able to identify the mechanisms he used to do so, and fully understand what was about to happen. And this gave me an implausible sense of calm. not only, but comfort too. . there was safety in all of this knowing. (and his knowing i knew). 

it was also refreshing to hear someone admit that i at least made them feel something, and in this context it sounded like that was both rare and necessary. and maybe this shared understanding, and comfort in the negation of expectations, is what people need to connect with each other. 

I don't know if i know what happy without expectations is supposed to feel like. but i think it's a lot like this. something untarnished but inherently tangible . . 

because it's not about being enough for someone, or trying to love or lust after someone, it's about understanding someone in the way they understand themselves. 

and what freedom it allows in the silence between two bodies breathing mutually.   


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