10.18.2008

the moon itself no wiser


what do we want from people? do we want acceptance? a feeling of emotional justification? simple interpersonal understanding? just extensive knowledge of another person .. 

is it that being known and deriving intimacy from that knowness is what gives our day to day a series of complex purposeful moments? 

or is it that being known helps us know ourselves. . and isn't it true that we strive to know ourselves before we know anyone else? 
is it then selfish to want someone else simply as a gateway to yourself?

or is it worse to want someone because you already know yourself and are devoid of the feeling of needing anything else? 

can't we just want something without it tainting our credibility? or potential? or self assurance? is pure want all that bad? 

or is it that it is harder to cope with wanting the unjustifiable? because then we have only ourselves to blame for any number of emotional complications that arise from acting on want without specific purpose. 

really, we hide behind justification, the universal scape goat, to relinquish responsibility for our own emotional turmoil. 
because owning up to want and its pitfalls in essential self-efficacy - and who wants to be wrong regarding their own desire? 

maybe there is a default setting that lets us sit back and neutralize want until it is a tangible possibility? 
or maybe what we want is a manifestation of what we need and admitting that to ourselves would cheapen the desperation of wanting . .  

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