keep me without chains

some one asked me what the difference between being alone - lonely - and isolated was and how could one escape it. i couldn't give an immediate nor decisive answer.

is isolation a byproduct of loneliness or just being alone? and then, is alone something you choose or a circumstance?

it seems to me that isolation is a choice. people don't choose to be lonely, or the feelings that go along with it ( ie. desperation, self pity, etc.). where as i would view isolation as intentional.

on the other hand, some may say they are forced to choose isolation because they force themselves to be alone (this i observed from one of 'my clients'). when one is so (self)absorbed with invisible "demons" how can one maintain a healthy connection with those on the outside. and how can those on the outside be expected to understand?

the conclusion i came to, when answering the above inquirer, is something i learned from one of my mentors when i was interning. ' when people hurt enough, they will change their own circumstance.'

that concept struck me profoundly: when people hurt enough. profound because "enough" is a measure of personal discretion.

enough is a finality, hard for the human conscience to accept. a point that many avoid. because realizing that something that has sustained you is also hurting you - and there for the pain you are feeling is self-inflicted - is debilitating.

but if you can get someone past a certain period of self loathing, or guilt then you can get them to the point of self healing. and is that not the ultimate goal? whether it's addiction, abuse, or simply desperately self inflicted lust or loveless love.

it always strikes me how all encompassing human complexity is.