cropcirlces in the carpet

so it seems i can't put this theory to rest; ritual seals love. it just makes alot of sense to me, and truth be told i've experienced it enough times to know that there is a fair amount of validity in such a statement.

my question now is, is it possible to realize the power of ritual and therefore avoid it in attempts to not be victim of its effects? simply, can this person know, as i know, how ritual effects people and avoid its effects because they are aware that they are already experiencing some amount of feeling before the ritual has had time to substantiate itself.

i mean . . can we avoid ritual in order to deny our true feelings? if ritual seals love and we are already infatuated then we are obviously inclined to fear such "love" because we were not ready for even the infatuation.

if we are not looking for something and suprisingly stumble across it we will steal ourselves against it as a defense mechanism. but, if both people are acutly aware that this technique is a defense mechanism isn't it failry redundant to avoid said ritual.

so it is.

and so, if i am to understand it correctly, this person who is suprised and unprepared will sample the ritual/intimacy and then push it away in order to keep their feelings in check. (all the while preserving their vulnerability behind the vauge excuse of "not wanting to hurt" the other person)

is this a cop-out? a compromise? or even more painful because it takes a constant emotional reassesment of wants/needs/desires. and really, is it worth it? would it not be more gratifying to simply give in and make yourself ready for something before it passes by? or is this simply a away for preserving a situation until you are ready to deal with it?

all of this aside, how do i handle it? one of the best things i have found is running laps around grey area.
why can't we ever decide concisely what we want?

because we are always scared of the present mimicking the past. because people who are aware of their emotional weaknesses avoid being vulnerable. and what is a good situation but two people of equal vulnerability preserving eachother.

so is co-dependance all about preservation? most likely.