where the eye looks hardest

i've come to the conclusion that people (most specifically parents, college roommates, co-workers) take their perceptions of you-take the little box they put you in based on their expectations- and interpret all of your actions to fit within their stereotype. 

what happens when you realize what people expect you to be, see the box they have placed you in, and garner your interactions to fit into that box because it is easier than disappointing them and re-defining their view of you when they don't want to see it.

I used to think i could censor parts of myself to make other people happy, in fact i got quiet good at it. the result; there are exactly 4 people who know who i really am, and everyone else ignores the parts of me i never forced them to accept. 

so now the people that surround me at school and work and home don't really know anything about me and i am starting to resent the fact that their expectations were so much more powerful than my will to define myself opposingly in their minds. 

and maybe i wouldn't have this problem if i couldn't see through people so well, or maybe i would be more angry if i couldn't. all i know is that i need to be around people who can see every part of me, and being home makes me miss the people that really know me. 

and as a result i still don't know where my life is going because i so desperately need to cling to and simultaneously destroy this "plan" i have concocted to make all parties happy and account for any disparities in expectation.