life X weight of the world^2

I've learned that people will only encourage you until things become too real. Because when things become too real they become unrealistic, there a flaws and glitches, and dead ends no one thinks about when you are setting goals. There is no potential to be disappointed when you have the implicit support and encouragement of those too blind to think they are protecting you from it. 

I think it is exceptionally worse to be protected from disappointment than it is to have a rational, realistic view of what is going on in your own life. Having this happen to me twice now i have come to realize that the only thing these people who claim to "support" me are doing is trying to "protect" me from my supposedly unrealistic aspirations. 

Ironically, people seem to try harder the more they are encouraged and are even more devastated when their so called supporters turn their backs at the last minuet and try to pull "i told you so" out of their ass. 

(because no one ever had the balls to tell you so in the first place) 

i can see this happening once - its a fluke a dream built in possibility and wrecked in unfavorable circumstance. But twice? and this time the only back up plan being the original, previously wrecked dream?

something is wrong and it can't be all my fault. because i know that there has to be something i want that i am good enough for. 

no one else has to settle to be good enough, so why should i? 

or do they? is that the devastation of growing up? is it that everyone, at some point, realizes they are never going to be good enough for what they want? 

where do you go from there?