perpetually human

can we experience the same situations over and over? or do we experience so many similar experiences that we lose the ability to tell the difference? maybe we learn to associate certain emotions with certain out comes - as a preservation technique.

how do we undo this? get past it?

does it take someone changing the outcome of an event we feel is repetitive? why should it take someone else to change this?

do we get so bogged down within ourselves that we fail to dictate our own responses? do we rely on destructive repetition because we know nothing else? 

and how is that dissimilar events begin to blur together? bound by similar emotions, sounds, sensations. . 

how do we overcome this constant fear? this self fulfilling prophecy? 

is it possible that despite ourselves we act in ways we know are destructive because predictability makes us less vulnerable? 

 we learn from the ways we did not act previously, and from ways we did.

so to change what we see as identical we must push past the fear of a different out come? or push past the fear of the same? 

what if situations are not the same at all but because we see them as such we ruin potential? are we so jaded that it is impossible to asses people and places in and of themselves. an individual- without tainted perception? 

maybe it is the fear of being naive, of being wrong. maybe it is the fear of not having a safety net. because what is predictability if not a safety net? 

how do i become a more confrontational person without knowing the questions to ask? how do i know what answers makes this different from before? how do i know these answers when i never asked the questions initially? will it make a difference? 

can you push too hard? against yourself? someone else? want? illusion? 

if i cannot see this without the shadow of mistakes it will never be strong alone. 

but can it be strong without hindsight?

catch 22. 

what makes us strong within a relationship? 

what makes us strong out of ourselves?