cracker jack tattoo's

i would rather be someone to fall back on, than someone.

in the throws of water cooler conversation today i had a profound thought (suprised?)
i noticed that inorder to need people i push them away.

consequently, i thought, one can keep someone at bay with need. because once you have attained what you believe to be needing you have to own up to want. being wanted and doing the wanting. and that there makes for a breeding ground of actual emotions and tangible relations.

because lets face it, needs are much more justifiably in the face of large quantities of whiskey and "for-old-times-sake" two night stands.

if your only defense mechanism is to need then how does one recogonize the development of sincere attachment? they don't.
so then they are sitting here staring at the phone like i am - calculating the chances of getting voice mail vs. an actual person and a miriad of awkward silences.

i guess these past three posts have lead up to this ultimatly profound and anticlimactic thought. but now that this concept has been conqured - or if nothing more called out - i can take the appropriate steps to finally pick up the damn phone.